Who Said Anything About Nice?
by Renwald The Beast
Summary: Sometimes Sirius' outrageous ideas really do work out for the best.  JPxLE and SBxRL


**Who said anything about Nice?**

Sometimes Sirius' outrageous ideas do actually work out for the best. SBxRL; JPxLE

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Sirius came bolting into the common room, his hair flying wildly about him as he flew down the last of the stairs. He walked rapidly to where Remus sat reading a book and pressed the book from his friend's grip causing it to fall into his lap.

'Where's Prongs?' he asked once he had Remus' attention.

'Off terrorizing Evans,' Remus replied in a slightly acid tone before picking his book up once more.

'Terrorizing Evans without me?' questioned Sirius frowning.

'Apparently,' Remus responded and began reading again.

'Ignoring me never works, Moony.'

'And yet I continue to try with the hope that one day it will be effective.'

Sirius cuffed the werewolf lightly about the head and moved toward the portrait, 'come on, Moony, he'll need us.'

Remus continued to read.

'Moony, come on.'

Remus slowly turned his head to meet Sirius' eyes, 'I have no desire to terrorize Evans.'

Sirius' face collapsed into a teasing grin, 'because you are sweet on her.'

'Because I don't think three to one is necessary in order to defeat a _girl_.'

'Oh that's nasty of you, Moony. Now you have to come of course, you have crushed my dignity.'

Remus laughed.

'Come on, Moony.'

Remus sighed and tossed his book onto a side table before standing and following his friend from the common room.

They found James in the garden, just outside of the castle doors, terrorizing Evans alone. Only it looked as if things might be going the other way around.

'Well let's see,' Lily was saying, 'it might just be because you are an ignorant prat and I hate you. Would that be a good enough reason?'

'Not really, Evans. I mean Alice dates Frank and he is a bigger prat than I am and far more ignorant.'

Lily looked up then and saw Remus and Sirius exiting the castle doors, 'ah look, reinforcements.'

James turned, saw his friends and a smile whipped across his features. He turned back to Lily, 'you'll go out with me one day; you may as well get it over with now.'

Lily rolled her eyes and turned to leave as Sirius and Remus joined them.

'Leaving so soon, Evans?' Sirius teased.

'Not soon enough I see,' Lily quipped.

Sirius surged suddenly forward and grabbed Lily's wrists, causing her to drop the books she was holding, 'maybe you won't be going anywhere, Evans.'

'Let me go!' Lily said twisting her wrists in his grasp and looking as if she might spit in his laughing face any moment.

'Pads,' James said, a small amount of caution in his tone.

'Sirius let her go,' Remus added.

'I think we need to teach Evans here a lesson,' Sirius commented, 'rejection of a Marauder is a serious offense.'

Lily kicked Sirius in the shin and the lad yelped, but he didn't release her, instead his hands tightened their hold.

'And kicking, well now that is a grade two offense; I don't think you want to know what the punishment is for that. But you'll know soon enough.'

Sirius began dragging Lily along the garden toward the Quidditch pitch.

Lily screamed and James quickly looked around before whipping out his wand and sending a quick Silencing Spell at the flailing girl.

Sirius' barking laughter rang out, 'that's the ticket, Prongs.'

'Sirius, what are you doing?' Remus asked.

'Just going to show Evans here what the price of breaking rules is.'

Sirius finally stopped tugging Lily when they reached a rather tall set of bushes and he managed to safely drag her behind them.

'Now Miss Evans,' Sirius said, releasing one of her hands into the other so that he held both of her in one of his own. He quickly whipped out his own wand and sent cords to bind her wrists and with another flick her ankles were tied together.

Sirius laughed when he'd released her and stood next to James, 'now Prongs, I think Lily looks a lot more cooperative. What was it you wanted to do to her? I think she is all acquiescence now.'

James looked wary as he stared at the bound girl.

Remus looked angry, 'Sirius, you can't do that.'

'Oh but I have just done it, Moony.'

Remus narrowed his eyes for a moment and then quickly sent a spell of his own, freeing Lily from the bonds.

She jumped out like a wildcat, dragging her fingernails down Sirius face and kicked him as he reared back in pain. Sirius lost his balance and toppled to the ground as Lily started to run back toward the school, still without a voice to scream for help.

'Damn it Moony, what'd you have to go and do that for? Look what she did to me!'

James stuck a hand out to help his friend rise, 'Moony was right, Pads, can't bound her up like that.'

Sirius stood and regarded them both as if they had just grown two heads, 'what's gotten into you two?' He turned and stormed away along the same path Lily had taken.

'Say, Padfoot,' James said running after him.

Remus too ran forward, but he only paused long enough to give Sirius a dirty look before he took off running toward the bridge.

'Traitor,' Sirius called at his back and then he looked at James, '_traitors_.'

'I silenced her didn't I?'

'Yeah, and then you turned as cowardly as Remus.'

'Well there isn't much sport in taking advantage when she is all bound up like that.'

The two had begun following in the direction Remus had taken. Not by verbal choice, but because when Remus got angry it was understood that they had once again gone too bloody far. Talking him around again generally assuaged their feelings of shame.

However, when they reached the foot of the bridge, they came to a stop and stared. Remus was with Lily and he was _kissing _her.

'Pads,' James said calmly.

'Yeah?'

'Show me that binding spell will ya?' anger had entered James eyes.

But Sirius was fuming with anger himself. Only he wasn't angry with Remus. He was angry with Lily because Lily was…

Lily was…

Lily was where he was supposed to be!

Sirius stormed up to the couple and watched as they sprung apart. He only had eyes for Remus. The flush on Remus' face increased ten fold when Sirius grabbed him.

The expected punch in the jaw never came. Remus felt like he'd been punched in the stomach instead.

Sirius was _finally_ devouring him - hungrily.

And it was so much better than pretending Lily was Sirius.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius and Remus were sharing a chair in the common room. Reading an assignment in between Nibbling at one another.

James and Lily sat on a couch facing them. James had spent an inordinate amount of time making up to Lily all afternoon and evening the day before and after pestering her with small gifts and apologies all day she'd finally relented after insisting he promise to not cast another spell, hex or jinx for two months except in class. Then she declared she wasn't going to speak to him for those two months and never again if he broke his promise.

Lady luck favored James as he walked away from her, his body sagging in total dejection and didn't notice a skinny lad with wand in hand move beside him and issue a nasty little curse that left his cheek bleeding from a sharp cut.

James reached for his wand as Severus Snape moved to throw yet another curse and caught Lily's eyes in the background. He desisted, something he'd never done before and took another curse for it. Yelping he turned to walk away and heard Snape taunting him from behind but the words were lost.

A loud cry caused him to turn in time to see Lily with wand in hand staring angrily at Snape, and Severus on the ground before them. James looked up quickly and met Lily's eyes and she stepped over Severus without a word and marched to where James stood.

In silence the two returned to Gryffindor. So it was that Lily cleaned his wounds and taped them up before seating herself next to James on the couch watching Sirius and Remus who didn't seem to notice anyone else was present in the common room.

'Remus kissed me!' Lily complained softly to James.

James furrowed his brow, 'you didn't seem to be resisting him, you seemed to be enjoying it.'

'I was taken by surprise…that's all,' she rejoined a little sullenly.

James narrowed his eyes, 'Remus was pretending you were Sirius, he told us. They have apparently been in love with each other for some time.'

Lily flushed.

'I'm sorry, Lily. I shouldn't have told you that.'

There was an extraordinary long silence.

Lily's voice when she finally spoke was barely perceptible, 'I was pretending he was you.'


End file.
